HILLARY and HILARITY.

I think I'm off the hook.
About 7 weeks ago I bit the bullet and faced the facebookers as I plunged into the Hillary health saga after having read the mad tinfoil-hatters rumours of rumours about the rumours of her poor health. I did place a caveat on my post though; i.e., I'd disown it if I was wrong [cunning]. I'm inclined to think my reputation [which is only known to others], is intact.
I think she's crook alright.
Goddamit man! ...forgot this could be read by millions of Americans. So, when I say she's "crook", that's Aussie for "ill". No matter if I'm misunderstood though, because Hills is indeed a "crook" as in: "criminal, lying, seditious, conniving, conspiring cu.....ah, country girl". I take absolutely no notice of the accusations of her cunnilingual tryste with her p.a., Huma, as that is irrelevant - except for the part where Huma is accused of associations with the Terrorism Of Peace, which makes Huma just one consonant short of a loyal American human. Just as Hills was aware of her lecherous hubby's lethariotic acrobatics while cigar-juggling, so too she must be aware of Huma's Duma Rumor. But, not to worry, the FBI's Chief Comey has it in hand, risking blindness, getting ready for another News Con [that's NOT short for conference], to repeat that Hill's has indeed done wrong but, well, she hasn't actually done anything wrong.
But I'm a compassionista, obviously, so I shan't pillory Hillary's illary, but I feel sad for Americans who now face several scenarios...... a late replacement, a premature death of a President, or the election of a glorified car salesman who now holds the trump card. Still, the U.S. is used to unusual Presidents and Governors such as actors and ....... well, actors all really in recent times.
But Hey friends, Aussies have no cause to brag: we have an acting P.M.

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2016/09/the_clinton_campaign_made_it_worse_.html

WOMAN MARRIES A ROCK.

I told 'em 30 years ago! I said: "You watch for this pet rock craze. It's a slippery slop, the thin edge of the wedge." Yep, I warned 'em: " Soon enough they'll be marrying those rocks." They called me a religious right-wing nutter, but I was right.
    So Sara found herself a craggy, chiselled-faced rock called Bruce. Bruce Rock. He didn't have the looks of a Rock Hudson or the humor of a Chris Rock, but he was gritty and as solid as a ......well, as a boulder.
    Married in Little Rock, Kansas, Sara and Bruce enjoyed a Reception with music provided by a rockabilly band playing rock n roll covers of  the Rolling Stones.
    As the night wore on Sara got stoned and suggested to Bruce: "Let's go to bedRock", whereupon they conceived their now-famous triplet pebbles named Igneous, Basalt and Granite.
    The sad aftermath, as the world knows, is that Bruce, discontented with his mineral gender and hankering to be a vegetable, shed his identity to become........... a tree! Doctors administered chemical treatments to turn Bruce brown, while rock-carvers shaped him into a trunk. Bruce then donned some pretty green leaves upon his person with glue to complete his transformation; however he was not welcome in the forest as the trees knew that he was not a real tree.
    But Bruce achieved his aim, appearing on the cover of Time and became wealthy through his fame and was lauded by liberals and Greens and other trans-rocks the world over. Even Western Education Departments instituted programs to teach children that they too may be confused about who they are and if Bruce could do it, they could change too. Even many trees began the reverse transition into rocks with injections of gravel-laden cement.
    Sadly, however, Bruce's three pebbles were left fatherless, while Sara fell into another relationship and eventually married the Atlantic Ocean.


CREDIT FOR THE INSPIRATION TO RELATE THIS TRUE STORY goes to The Spectator's article on self-marriage - something which is catching on along with marriages to pets, trees and the ocean. Obviously at present such marriages are conducted by esoteric groups and not state-sanctioned. The article is at....

http://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/08/the-rise-of-marriage-for-one/?utm_source=Adestra&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=201600827_Weekly_Highlights_34_everyone

    

YES, PRIME MINISTER, IT'S RAMADAMADINGDONG.

PM: Oh hell, Humphrey, the bean counters tell me I lost twenty thousand votes just because I didn't salute thirty boxes of old bones that came back from Vietnam. Why do they put these things on when I'm on the campaign trail?
SIR H: I have the answer PM. I propose you throw a banquet for ramadan. That's thousands of votes we can take off Bill.
PM: Ridiculous Humphrey, that's the fasting period. I know my sharia law you know.
SIR H: Not so PM. They love to pig out after sunset.
PM: "Pig out" Humphrey? I can't believe you said that. I'm quite expert on these things, and I forbid you to use such ham-fisted terminology in this context. A banquet, eh? Well, make sure you don't invite any sheiks that have condemned gays. Andrew fucking Bolt will have a field day.
SIR H: I'm sorry PM, but in that case there would be nobody to invite. But I can make sure the most radical are seated out of the way at the far end out of photo shot.
PM: But that's where they put the women, Humphrey. Never mind, speaking of sheiks, invite some movers and shakers. "Sheikers" Humphrey! Get it? "Sheikers..Shake..."
SIR H: Yes PM. Very good PM. Excellent play on words. I thought we could put you with Mister Ali - the association of yourself PM,alongside the most popular man in Australia.
PM: What? I do believe the most popular man in this country is......
SIR H: ...Yourself of course PM; begging your pardon.
PM: Anyway, don't seat me next to that little smart-arse, he'll blind me with polemics. Tell you what Humphrey old boy - get me next to Susie, his wife. Hmm, and on the other side have that sexy Yassmin Abdelly-what's-her-name. Shit, Humphrey, there has to be some compensation for the lack of alcohol and spare ribs, eh? Make sure the wife is down the back on the Hizb ut-Tahrir table. And entertainment Humphrey? Can we get some of those Afghani boys that twirl about in tutus?
SIR H: Umm, not a good look PM. Perhaps for the after-party. I'll give Justice Kirby a call, I'm sure he'd be delighted to arrange something.

WHAT WAS ABBOTT HIDING IN HIS CABINET?

Here's a whacky theory from a skeptic with a suspicious turn of mind [and that would be me].

Tony Abbott was deposed, so I considered his cabinet at the time. Here is nearly half of that group.....

Abbott, Heffernan, Hockey, Pyne, Cormann, Brandis, Andrews, Turnbull, Briggs, Joyce, Robb, Bernardi, Cash, Fierravanti-Wells, Sinodinos.

QUESTION: What do these people have in common?

ANSWER:  They are all practicing Catholics!!

There may have been a few more even, that I could not pick up from their bios. Then there are the practicing Christians like Bishop and the Born-Again Morrison.
And, it is fairly well known that Abbott [and maybe some others], are supported by Opus Dei.
This constitutes a large bloc of very rightist conservatives at a moment in history when policies on the plate included same-sex marriage, climate change, abortion, Indigenous inclusion in the Constitution and other topical matters that would elicit a particular standpoint of Catholic faithful. Just maybe the backbench and a few in Cabinet saw a clash of policy coming, and a fall in support from an increasingly progressive electorate.
Or was the deposing due to the raw onion?

I SMELL A RAT. DO YOU?

I smelt a rat when.......
* Chinese female swimmers suddenly took out gold medals when they had no history even at dog-paddle.
* There has been such a long absence of strike action by unions but they were getting richer [from selling out their members].
* When the Catholic faithful began to wonder why so many priests never stayed in their parishes for very long.
* Lance Armstrong won the toughest-to-win Tour de France race not twice but 7 times.
* FIFA granted the World Cup to Qatar who don't have an A-Grade soccer competition.
* The Japanese kept killing whales for science without releasing any results.

Nowadays I smell a rat when........
* Every TV news program mentions "climate change" almost daily, but never ever allows a contrary view.
* The courts are constantly metering out light sentences for paedophiles.
* The Greens and Libs collude to change the Senate voting system.

And YOU are smelling a rat when ...........?

Nothing Could Be Finer Than To Be In Carolina....

Bruce, THE BOSS, has pulled his concert in Nth Carolina in protest against a new law passed in that state. And to show what a good bloke he is, he will give fans a refund on their tickets.
Wait, there's more. That ultra-famous film director, um, whats-his-name who made the movie 'Harry Met Sally,' will not make any more movies in Nth Carolina. So there!
Not to be outdone, the mayor of Atlanta, Georgia, has banned city officials from travelling to Nth Carolina.
So - what was the unjust law passed in Nth Carolina that has attracted so much angst?
The new law says that public toilets can only be used by the genders on one's birth certificate: that is - men must use the "mens" and women must use the "ladies." That all seems fair enough, but think about it: it means that men who have decided to don the lippy and a dress and that they now feel more like a female than a male cannot use the "ladies room." Now there's bigotry - making humans with a penis use men's toilets. Darn,what about your normal male perv who slips on a frock to check out the little girls?
In the enlightened state of Georgia though, there is a problem for the fuddy-duddy dads who take their daughters to a public event, be it sports events, concerts or just to the shopping centre and his little lassie needs to use the loo; but daddy is not keen on letting her alone in the toilets where chaps-in-dresses are free to use. The solution is obvious for our puzzled dad - he simply slips on some lippy and accompanies his little girl, pretending to be a genuine trans. Problem solved.
So let's all follow the bouncing ball and sing along: Nothing-could-be-finer-than-to-be-in-Carolina-in-the-Layhalayhalayhahadies.

PEDO FILE

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